About The Empire
The Glorious Taradiddly Empire of Zooxaloo is a micronation, declaring its sovereignty according to the Montevideo Convention on the rights and duties of states in 1933 which defines the 4 criterea of statehood (a) a permanent population; (b) a defined territory; (c) government; and (d) capacity to enter into relations with the other states. WAHEY!!
Whilst many other wonderful micronations exist, Zooxaloo is the first MicraNation, with the main territory of the Empire being a 2005 Nissan Micra. A rock has also recently been added to the Empire.
The Empire also lays claim to a big rock in a certain sea but is playing the long game in getting that recognised. Expect big news regarding new territorial claims soon.
Zooxaloo at a glance
Established: 5 July 2020
Government: Empire led by Awesome Emperor Steve the Phenomenal Ultimate Emperor for life
Population (Sep 2021): 29 humans. A giraffe has been adopted.
Currency: The Big Z. Pegged to the price of pizelli pastizzi - a snack from Malta where the Emperor grew up. Currently 1 ABZ = 0.4€
Time zone:GMT + 69 minutes (Zooxaloon Standard Time)
National sport 1) Bra Slingshot, 2) Chess/Marathon (where you alternate 1 game of chess with 1 marathon).
Motto: Optimus Reprehendo Summae (Best check the tyres)
The Story of Zooxaloo
The Empire of Zooxaloo was first created when Emperor Steve found a decorative replica sword on the wall of a house he purchased in Malta with Queen Kat in 2011.
In the middle of moving, Steve stopped the process and demanded that Queen Kat anoint him with the sword. A confused (and slightly annoyed) Queen Kat agreed, and the Empire was born. At that moment comprising of the land on which the house was sitting.
Emperor Steve then kept unpacking boxes and started thinking about dinner.
In 2020 however after watching a documentary about micronations, Emperor Steve decided to reignite the wonderful empire. The original land (house) has gone, lost in the mists of time (sold) so land was an issue. However the Emperor, now in the UK, did own a Nissan Micra, and a rock (known as the Rock Hard) and decided that this, would do for the time being (future claims to land are being considered).
It was whilst putting together the Zooxaloo website that the first constitutional crisis occurred. The official name of the national day on June 25th was Brilliant Day, because it is the day after the Emperor's brithday, so, let's be honest, it is quite a good day. However, before uploading the constitution to the website, the Emperor in his infinite wisdom felt that it would be more fitting and more in line with how the citizens of the Empire live that the name should change to Hangover day. Trusting his instincts, the constitution was changed on Microsoft word and the Empire never looked back. This was the first ever constitutional amendment, and a crisis was solved before breakfast. An incredible achievement.
Then however a second, more sinister crisis hit when the official Zooxaloo website went offline for weeks.
Although foul play was suspected, the under-pressure Emperor kept his cool where many others would have lost theirs. He decided against plunging his people into senseless conflict and instead looked for other solutions. As it transpired, his instincts once again proved to be correct.The reason the website was offline was because he had forgotten to verify the domain name. One email (and an undertaking to check his official emails more regularly) later, and the website was back up and running. Peace in our time.
With a constitution, a national flag, citizens, (and citizenship applications being considered), Zooxaloo looks forward to being part of the international community, building lasting ties of friendship with other nations and generally having a good time.
We, the people, as well as all other creatures of the earth and aliens (if they exist, but we are pretty sure that they must do) do hereby declare the official re- establishment of The Serene Yet Nutty (and Glorious Taradiddly) Empire of Zooxaloo.
And this is our constitution:
- Zooxaloo is Brilliant.
- Zooxaloo is ruled in complete and utter totality by The Awesome Emperor Steve The Phenomenal, Ultimate Emperor for life.
- The territory of Zooxaloo consist of a Nissan Micra and a rock.
- Citizens of Zooxaloo are all humans who are children of a citizen of Zooxaloo, who are born in the Territory from this point onwards, or who are naturalized. Conception in the territory does not count.
- Citizens of Zooxaloo are to be nice to each other and to others.
- There shall be no official language, but the Emperor has to understand what is going on.
- The State has a State Flag, and Coat of Arms, a national dish (pea pastizzi), national dress (mankini), and two national days (June 24th – Emperor’s Birthday, and June 25th – Hangover day)
- The State Motto is "Optimus Reprehendo Summae" (Best check the tyres)
- The State promotes worldwide peace and co-operation between nations, and generally not being a bellend.
- No elections occur because all power rests with the emperor.
- There is no separation between the traditional branches of state power for the same reason as in article 9.
- The constitution is the ultimate law but can be changed at whim by the Emperor.
24th June - Emperor's Birthday
25th June – Hangover day
Flag and Coat of Arms
The flag of Zooxaloo is Orange (for the colour of the Nissan Micra), Blue (for the sky and for Everton, the emperor's favourite football team) yellow for the sun (and because the emperor likes it) with a the coat of arms - the is-it-or-is-it-not-phallic face on a bright green background.
Join the Empire!
Want to join the coolest Empire EVER?
- Receive a citizenship email and a welcome from The Emperor HIMSELF
- Be eligible to represent the empire abroad! (tell us what you're good at and we might start a national team!)
- Be part of the greatest nation EVER
By completing this form - https://forms.gle/6UreYUxSmusQMiN66 - you are requesting honorary citizenship in the Zooxaloo Empire. Please note your citizenship carries with it absolutely no rights or obligations - it does not include the option of physical residency in Zooxaloo. Also please note, only join the Empire if you can live within the parameters of the constitution. Especially clause 5. If you are nasty, your citizenship can and probably will be revoked. So there.
(If you would like to have the status revoked after it has been bestowed, you can do so at any time by e-mailing Emperor Stevo.)